Musical Memories
by Elsakun
Summary: AU. Zelos takes Lloyd to his secret late-night hideout during winter break. Lloyd has no idea what he's in for. / School version of their Flanoir scene, I guess. No yaoi. Minor swearing.


**Author's Note: **Wow, this thing is pretty short. I personally like this — it's one of my midnight works. I love Zelos and Lloyd's relationship, as long as it's nothing yaoi. I personally think it should be canon for Zelos to be picked, but eh … screw you Namco. You're so mean to your characters! / Anyway, this is AU. If Tales of Symphonia took place in a school, this would be the Flanoir scene.

Enjoy~!

"Zelos … "

"What! I'm a senior, c'mon; I'm _allowed_ to do this sort of thing."

Lloyd only shakes his head. "We're gonna get caught."

"No, we're not. And even if we do, I'm perfectly okay."

"No, you're not!" Lloyd counters. "This definitely goes against the rules! I mean, the principal is pretty strict! We're not allowed to go into the music room without permission, especially after hours!"

Zelos whines. "C'mon, Lloyd! I just have this burning desire to do this! There's something calling me!"

Lloyd groans. "Ugh, whatever. Couldn't we at least get Mr. Bryant to come with us? That would've counted … "

"Ugh, _no,_" Zelos rolls his eyes. "I don't want him to follow us. He has _no_ sense of taste. I mean, blue hair? _Long_ blue hair? Long, _unruly_ blue hair? Long — "

"I _get it!"_ Lloyd interrupts with a groan. "Let's just get this over with. You said you wanted to talk, so why are we heading to the music room?"

"Why not?" the prodigy retaliates, and Lloyd shuts up. Cruxis Academy was very hard to get into; Lloyd was only able to enter it because his father was vice principal. Zelos was chosen for it, and he flaunted it wherever he went.

Zelos … is just that kind of person. He hates being quiet, and he hates not showing something off that's really cool. So when he got his acceptance letter, he said farewell to the humdrum life he _had_ been living, and became the star of the school. His good looks and good luck attracted all the women, and he could charm anyone into doing anything for him. Lloyd strongly disliked that about him, for a while.

However, after befriending him, Lloyd found that he wasn't actually that bad of a person. Sure, he was annoying and wanted nothing other than to be with as many women as possible, he also wanted a friend. Lloyd respected that, and after figuring that enigma out (it took months), Lloyd finally accepted the womanizer into their group of friends.

But, like it was mentioned earlier … Zelos is not a reserved person. He did not keep secrets. Yet, when he comes to Lloyd in the middle of the night, exclaiming "Field trip, field trip~!", Lloyd has to go along. Why?

Because Zelos has never looked so fragile.

As they reach the music room, Zelos pauses to listen for anyone inside. Hearing nothing, he enters and grins. "I've been in here countless before," he admits abashedly.

Lloyd blanches. "Wh … what! Then what's the point of dragging me along?"

Zelos shrugs and heads over to a curtain. Confused, Lloyd follows — and then the secret is unveiled.

A grand piano.

The redhead sits on the bench with a soft smile. He places his hands on the keys, confusing his friend for a moment, before he lets out a grunt of realization.

"Zelos!" Lloyd whines. "Don't play! Knowing you, the sound you're about to make will — "

… The seventeen-year-old gasps. Zelos has begun to play, and it's nothing like he expected. Lloyd always thought that the only thing Zelos had going for him was his good looks and suave personality. If you said "Zelos" and "music" in the same sentence, you were either insane, or you were begging Zelos to stop.

Slowly, Lloyd recognizes the tune. It's one that's played during the winter times, a sad song. Originally, it was about the death of Spring, which had been progressing throughout the year. There is a second movement, if Lloyd remembers correctly, which is about Spring being reborn into the new year. It's much happier and jovial.

But Zelos stops and the end of this one. Lloyd blinks. " … You're not going to continue?"

"You're disappointed?" Zelos chuckles. Lloyd is completely thrown off-balance — is this a hidden camera show? "Sorry. Whenever I get like this, I usually just come here and play my heart out. I don't know why I brought you along."

"Why don't you play the next part?" Lloyd demands, a little upset. "You can't end it there — it's too sad."

"Kid, life is sad." Zelos' softness has changed. Suddenly, he's cold and heartless, and Lloyd gives him a hurt look. "Life is depressing and it always ends. There's no rebirth, no happy ending for it. I never play the second piece, because it doesn't make sense."

" … What?" Lloyd sighs. "Aren't you taking it a little too harshly? I mean, there's always another spring … "

Zelos ignores him and starts to play again. It's a different piece. It's … taciturn. Lloyd takes a seat on a nearby chair, not knowing the piece at all. " … What is it?" He finally asks. "I don't — "

He stops. Zelos is crying. He rubs his eyes, trying to make it stop. "Sorry, bud," he manages after a moment. "I'm being a downer. Sorry, I'll make it up to you and take you out someplace really cool tomorrow night … "

"Why are you crying?" Lloyd winces. "Should I … hug you or something?"

"No," Zelos shakes his head. " … It's just … it's winter break."

" … Yeah. It is." So what? Lloyd asks himself. What's so special about winter break?

"You're not with your family because it's too expensive, right?" Zelos shrugs.

" … That's right," Lloyd blinks. "Oh, yeah. You got paid to come here, right? I heard your family got loaded. … So why are you still here? Shouldn't you be — "

A minor key is played. Lloyd grimaces at the painful tone. "My sister is the main reason," Zelos grumbles. "She despises my company. She gets sick easily, especially when I'm around, so my family doesn't allow me to visit."

" … How can your sister _hate_ you?" Lloyd repeats, aghast. "She's family. She's probably just playing sick. She's gotta love you … I mean, you're siblings, right?"

"We're half siblings," he reveals. "And, besides … she knows I hate staying here during the winter. That's one reason why she fakes it."

"I like winter, stop hating on it," Lloyd grumbles. Zelos just laughs, and Lloyd rolls his eyes. "How can you hate _winter? _I mean, it _snows!"_

"Exactly," Zelos grimaces. "I hate snow."

"What's with all this damn hate?" Lloyd snaps. "Are you venting? Because if you are, then dammit, tell me beforehand! I don't want you to just say a whole bunch of stuff I'm not gonna remember in the morning!"

"Oh, I get it!" Zelos growls back. "Fine, then! Go back to bed, I'm staying here."

The silence is tense; very tense. Finally, Lloyd groans. " … Sorry. Why do you hate snow?"

"I don't know _why_ I'm telling you," Zelos mumbles, just barely loud enough for him to hear. "I've never told anyone … " Then he looks up with a scowl. "It all started on my fourth birthday. Do you wanna hear it? If you don't, then don't try to hide it."

" … Yeah," Lloyd decides after a moment. "Confide in me, please." Knowing one of his close friends _wanted_ to tell him … of course he'd listen.

With a light chuckle, the Wilder starts.

_"Hey, mom! Mom, come look at this!"_

_ I laughed and grabbed her hand, pulling her forward. I'd just made a snowman … It was the first time it had snowed in Meltokio with her around. I wanted to share the experience with her._

_ "It's beautiful," she remarked dryly. She never gave me any attention. Not even then._

_ Suddenly, she started to cough. "Are you okay?" I asked, and she just laughed at me. You hear me, Lloyd? She _laughed.

_"Don't you pretend to care," she said. "You're just like your father. You have the same damn look that was on his face when he told me about the other woman." She laughed again. She never laughed. That alone made me happy, although I didn't understand her words at the time._

_ Then we heard a loud snap. The breaking of a twig. Immediately, she jumped in front of me, and then there's a deafening sound._

_ A bullet._

_ I didn't completely comprehend what was happening. Suddenly, she's lying against the cold snow, absorbing its temperature, and there's red snow. I was so confused … A nearby officer grabbed the deranged woman who shot my mother, the woman who gave birth to my bastard sister, while another started calling the hospital for my mother. As he helped her up, she turned to me. _

_ "Zelos." She was trying to speak, so I ran over._

_ "Mom, what's going — "_

_ "You pathetic child." These are her last breaths, Lloyd. This is what she said to me with her _last breath._ "I loathe you — don't touch me! You _never_ should have been born!"_

_ She died before the ambulance arrived._

Lloyd gulps. "Whoa, that's … pretty intense … " For extra measure, though, he turns to Zelos and looks him in the eyes. "This is true, though, right?"

"Goddammit, Lloyd!" Zelos lashes out, and the junior flinches. "Would I make this crap up? Of _course_ it's true! Is that all you have to say?" Almost immediately, he clears his throat. " … Sorry. I know it's hard to think of something to say to a story like that … "

"No kidding," Lloyd frowns. "Your mother was a bitch."

"Don't you dare talk about her like that!" Zelos defends, startling Lloyd once more. "She's the strongest person I've ever known! She was a great, kind woman, and you would never know!"

"What the hell? How can you defend her when she said _that_ to you!" Lloyd hisses. "She despised you! How can you … "

"I loved her nonetheless," Zelos scowls. "She was the one person I looked up to as a child. … Heh. I'm pretty pathetic."

"Stop … making no sense," Lloyd groans. He's given up trying to look at this from a logical point of view. "How exactly are you pathetic?"

"I just … " He shrugs, ticking Lloyd off. "I am. My facade is up, finally. I'm obviously not the flirtatious, over-flamboyant Zelos Wilder that you know. I just run away from my true self … I can't stand to look it in the eye."

"W … what the hell!" Lloyd twitches. "I'm about to smack you, Zelos. You're _running away_ from yourself? That's pretty damn stupid of you! I'll always love you no matter what you're really like inside, so … "

"Aw, how sweet."

"Okay! That's it! I give up!" Lloyd throws his hands in the air. "What do you want me to say!"

Zelos opens his mouth. He wants to tell him, 'Say that I'm special to you. Say that I'm not a stupid, pathetic, worthless person. Say that my mother is _wrong.'_ But he sees the look in Lloyd's eyes and decides not to.

"Never mind," he sighs. "Anyway. It's getting pretty late. We should get to bed."

As he heads out of the room, leaving Lloyd behind to mull over his thoughts, he winces. He knows Lloyd's only trying to help. But he doesn't. He tries to say the right things, and he seems to be able to do that with everyone else. Just not _Zelos._

And with that, the wild-eyed hero forgives his best friend, because he knows that it's too much to ask.

It's too much to ask Lloyd to forgive him.


End file.
